A Broken Vigil
by Lord Machiavelli's Understudy
Summary: Or three promises that Hyuuga Hiashi regrets never making.


**Notes**: I think I should probably give a little backstory to this story, specifically where something as odd as this came from. This work came about from two, or maybe three, separate ideas.

The first is the deep misogyny that you find in Sasuke and to a lesser degree the rest of the Uchiha clan. This is present throughout the series, but is most blatant in them. However, by what little we know about Mikoto she was a capable jonin, not the type to go along with such opinions or to pass them on to her children (or at least she shouldn't be). So what happened? Then I ended up putting so really violently feminist opinions in her mouth, and this Mikoto was the result.

Secondly, one of the major themes of _Naruto_ is that things repeat, with some minor variations. Any group of characters or major event will have a mirror in the next generation or the one before. This made me think about Hinata's crush on Naruto, and whether that has a reflection. I decided no, but not before realizing how utterly hilarious it would be to have Hiashi stalking Minato, especially if he was on a date with Kushina. I decided not to write that story, since it's really only an image, but used the idea here, much more seriously.

Finally, it is my personal head canon that Minato, Mikoto and Hiashi were on the same genin team. I have no idea why, it just is. I may one day write about their team, but I probably won't. It would be hilarious though, because can you imagine Hiashi being teased by Jiraiya for years on end?

This is set a few months before the Third Ninja war breaks out. I may or may not write a sequel to this. If I do, it would be about how Hiashi keeps or fails to keep these almost promises.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto.

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Hiashi was nervous. He would never admit it, but he was deathly afraid of tomorrow's events. The worst part of it was that he was sure that his father knew. Knew, and was amused by it, the old statue. He checked himself again, making certain that he wasn't showing any sign of his thoughts or emotions on his face or with his body posture. His father continued to drone on about his duties and responsibilities, while Hiashi tuned him out.

The worst part was he had known this was coming. The clan Elders had informed him when he became Chunin that they had selected a suitable bride. It was his duty and responsibility to continue the Hyuuga family line. He knew this. It could have been worse. Ayumi had exquisite manners, as befitted the wife of the future head of the Hyuuga. Her ninja skills were solidly mid-chunnin, although not brilliant enough to advance from that rank. She was even beautiful. But there was no fire there. Hiashi looked at her and saw a china doll, not a kunoichi. She had no soul, not like Mikoto or even that rag-mannered Inuzuki Tsume. He would have preferred even the later to his future wife.

Still, if Hiashi knew anything he knew what his duty was. He would marry Ayumi and in several years he would present the clan with an heir. He would take up the position of head of the clan, and keep the Hyuuga strong. If he was unhappy with this, then no one else would ever know.

His father left, leaving Hiashi alone before the family shrine. He was to meditate on his duty to the clan and this new step in his life until morning, when he would be bound to his future wife. He found himself hoping that morning never came, that this vigil lasted for an eternity, before realizing that that was the height of foolishness.

Nearly an hour after his father left, Hiashi heard the deliberate footsteps of a ninja trying not to startle another. Recognizing his brother's chakra, he allowed him to approach. When he reached exactly three long paces behind him, Hizashi coughed, "Elder Brother."

Hiashi continued to look at the shrine. "I am finding it hard to find peace tonight, brother. Thoughts of tomorrow weigh heavily on my mind." He would never have said this to anyone but Hizashi. Mikoto and Minato would drag it out of him, without waiting for him to get around to telling them, and as for Jiraiya…

"I have moved your belongings into your new rooms." Hizashi stated. Hiashi was moving into bigger quarters, with room for his wife as well. "I also took the liberty of burning the various materials that your jonin-sensei has given you." Hiashi almost felt himself go red, with anger or embarrassment. Both were feelings that he commonly associated with his jonin-sensei, who despite his power should never have been given the smallest hint of authority.

"I was not aware that I had any object from him in my rooms," Hiashi said calmly.

"You did not. He asked me to give them to you, as a 'gift to my little Hiashi. Without them he won't have any idea how to treat his new little lady tomorrow, and he won't want that. She'll be as glad for them as he will be.'" Hizashi's imitation of Jiraiya was frankly disturbing. Hiashi was almost morbidly curious about what Jiraiya had given him, but not nearly enough to ask.

"I'm glad you burned them. Nothing from that man should come anywhere near the Hyuuga household, especially my wife."

"He was right about one thing though."

"I refuse to believe that the idiot could ever be right about anything but sealing and the ninja arts." Hiashi wished they would stop talking about Jiraiya. He was the last person Hiashi wanted to think about on the day before his wedding.

"You are nervous, though."

Hiashi only nodded, quietly admitting that yes, he was nervous. His marriage would have a deep and lasting effect on his life. However, there was no sense in putting it off. That would only offend Ayumi and her clan, causing them to make trouble for the Hyuuga. He would marry tomorrow, will he nil he.

"I serve the clan." It was all the answer that he could give. "You understand that, Hizashi."

"Of course. All of us, Branch and Main, serve the clan. Sometimes…" Hizashi trailed off, as if he had almost said something before taking it back.

"What is it brother?" Hiashi asked.

"It is nothing. Especially not on the night before your wedding. You should return to your vigil." Hizashi went to leave, but Hiashi stopped him with a word.

"Tell me, Hizashi." He shook his head, refusing. "Anything that worries you must worry me."

Hizashi almost said something, before shaking his head again. He said to himself, "No, I will do this the right way or no other."

Hizashi lowered himself to the ground, touching his forehead to the tatami mats. "I have served you well all of my days. I humbly request that you grant me this boon, master," he said formally.

"Get up, Hizashi. You are my brother. Anything you want, it's yours. Anything in my power." Hiashi hated to see his brother on his knees. It was wrong, but happened all too often.

"Do not brand any of you future children."

Of all the things that Hizashi could have said, that was one that Hiashi would never have expected. He did not answer. Hizashi almost looked up at him, but stifled the impulse.

He continued, "None of us a free in this house, but the Branch members are even less free. You may be forced into a marriage, but I can be forced into a death. Being bound is a terrible thing. It takes away all of our freedom, and binds us to the will of others. Those others do not see us as brothers and cousins, but as cattle and dogs. I would not have anyone else be looked at the way Hitomi looked at me this very day. I want to end this cruel system. I want to be free. More, I want no one else to ever be caged."

He continued speaking. Hizashi had always had a way with words. Hiashi knew without asking his brother that this was something that he had wanted to say for the longest time. He knew that he had composed great speeches on the subject, full of flights of logic and turns of phrases so beautiful in their eloquence that the very stones in the courtyard would weep to hear them. He also knew that in this moment, none of those speeches that Hizashi had composed (composed and never planned to ever say) would come to his mind, and all he had left was this simple and rambling plea.

"Stop."

As soon as he said this, Hizashi stopped completely. Hiashi was not sure, but he thought that he might have stopped breathing as well. He looked up slowly when Hiashi said nothing more, and finally looked Hiashi in the eye. Hiashi looked back, then slowly shook his head, unable to answer in words. He would not have been able to deny his brother if he had spoken, and Hiashi had to deny him.

The Caged Bird Seal was necessary. It was not just tradition. It was a way to prevent bloodline theft, and provided the foundation of the clan's security. It must continue to exist, for the good of the clan.

"I see." Hizashi rose slowly. "I am sorry to bother you with this unworthy request, elder brother." He left, as stiff backed as only a Hyuuga could be.

Hiashi had not realized that Hizashi was so bitter. He knew that if he had been put in his brother's place he would have been unable to bear up with the equanimity and calm that his brother normally showed. He was shaken and had the sinking feeling that he had just made a great mistake. He reassured himself that he had made the right decision, the only possible decision. He returned to his vigil, but thoughts of duty would not come. He was almost glad when he heard the rasp of the paper screen moving, showing that he had another illegal visitor. One that had even less right to be in the main shrine of the Hyuuga house than a Branch member did, genin teammate or not.

Mikoto was a friend, no matter what the clan policy on the Uchiha was. They had fought together, with only the other to guard their back. They had practically lived together for years. Even worse, they had both put up with Jiraiya-sensei's antics. That was bonding in and of itself. He could not imagine a universe without her at his side, Minato in front of them, and Hizashi close behind.

She spoke before he could welcome her. "You're getting married, Hiashi. You man." She spat the word like it was the vilest of curses. This was not normal Mikoto behavior, so he turned to look at her. She was in remarkable disarray. She was wearing her third, and least favorite kimono, the one that she saved for appearing before the Uchiha council and other official business, not her festival one or the one she thought made her look beautiful. It was dirty, and looked like she had been training in it. Knowing her tendency to work out anger, Hiashi though that she probably had been. In her hand was a bottle of sake and a cup.

"Mikoto, are you drunk?" It would be amazing if she was. Mikoto was always the one the he and Minato put on Jiraiya drinking contest duty.

"As a kage, dear –ashi. I am celebrating, or maybe mourning. I can't remember." Mikoto had surprisingly clear diction, except for his name, and her steps were remarkably steady, but Hiashi got up and helped her to sit on the floor.

"What are you celebrating?" he asked her.

"I'm not celebrating. I'm drinking."

"Then why are you drinking?"

"Marriage." She spat the word with loathing.

"Marriage? My marriage?" Hiashi hoped not. His marriage did not concern her at all.

"No, not your marriage. Why would I be upset about your marriage? You have fun marrying your china doll. Ruin her life." She took a swig of sake, right out of the bottle.

"I'm not going to ruin my wife's life." At least he hoped not.

"Oh really?" She was glaring at him again. There were few worse people to glare at you than an Uchiha.

Hiashi sighed, and took the bottle of sake from her hands. He was surprised that she did not resist. "Now, why are you really upset."

Mikoto drew herself up with every inch of her Uchiha pride and arrogance. She proclaimed clearly, "I am to be joining you, Hiashi. I am newly betrothed."

Hiashi was not quite surprised. Although the Uchiha clan was much bigger than the Hyuuga, they were much more stringent in their breeding. They kept very close records of lineage and potential, and bred all of their children for the good of the clan, unlike the Hyuuga where only the highest were forced to marry. Mikoto was a skilled and talented jonin, with a fully activated Sharingan. Her children would be strong.

"Who is the man?"

"My cousin Fugaku. The wedding is in a month"

Hiashi was surprised at that. Fugaku was the Uchiha clan heir. Although he and Mikoto were distant cousins, he stood much higher in the clan standings than she did. The Uchiha must be very impressed with her battle record to give her that cachet. He knew Fugaku as a fellow clan heir, and did not much like him, but then again he did not like most Uchihas. He went to congratulate her on her increased rank, before realizing that she would not appreciate the comment.

"I have already resigned from active service,"Mikoto added when he did not respond.

"What? Why?" Why would Mikoto resign? She was a powerful ninja, only growing better with experience. He took a drink of her sake, absentmindedly.

"You don't understand," Mikoto said loudly, and Hiashi shushed her before she could alert that an evil Uchiha had snuck though the Hyuuga's vaunted security while drunk, and had disturbed the vigil of a Main Branch member. That would go over well with the clan.

"No, I do not. Please explain it to me," He spoke quietly and calmly, hoping that she would as well. Apparently it worked, because she responded at a more reasonable volume.

"I am to be a wife, not a husband."

Hiashi did not follow, and said as much to his teammate.

"There is no reason for an Uchiha matron to be a working ninja. An Uchiha matron is only good for giving the Uchiha strong sons and keeping her husband happy. Why should she go on missions? What would be the point? She's just a woman."

Mikoto was violently bitter. Hiashi had heard similar words from her before, although never so violently.

"But resigning, Mikoto? Surely that was not necessary."

"It was my _husband's _first order to me. Everything is over. Everything I ever worked for, done." She was dry eyed, which did not surprise Hiashi, but for some reason he felt that she should be crying.

"I can talk to Fugaku with you," he offered.

"How would that help? A Hyuuga interfering with the internal matters of the clan heir? That would make things so much worse."

He tried to think of something that would comfort her, but could only offer her what she already knew, "I am to be married as well. It's also arranged, to give the Hyuuga another strong generation after me." He took another swallow of the sake, felling somehow ashamed to say it so baldly.

"Just for the son then? The precious heir? To arrive as soon as possible, to reassure your grandparents the line is safe?"

"Not as soon as all that. I would like to wait several more years. We are both still young. However, there is the tension with Rock. If that erupts into full blown war, then we may be told to provide one sooner. Or they may ask us to wait until it is over. It all depends." Hiashi thought that he was calming her down, but her next words showed that that was only an illusion.

"I am to give Fugaku an heir within two years. My mother told me, 'an heir, a spare, and a mare'. She was right. I'm only a brood mare."

"You're not a mare. You are a ninja, and a very good one. You could be in Anbu if you wanted. If Fugaku does not want you out in the field until an heir is born, why don't you take a genin team? That will give you light, safe duty," Hiashi tried to reason with her.

Mikoto looked at him and started laughing, great hiccupping giggles. The drunk woman was sprawled out on the floor laughing hysterically.

"Control yourself Mikoto." Hiashi commanded her, worried again about the Hyuuga guards. She shoved a hand into her mouth, quieting her self. Eventually she got control of her self, and pulled herself back over to Hiashi.

"Do you want to know a secret? I'm a stronger, no, a better ninja than Fugaku is. The clan admitted it a few hours ago." The words were empty, a marked contrast from her recent hysterics.

"You should take pride in that fact, and the strength that gives your clan."

"No, that's the worse part. You see, Hiashi. Fugaku knows that. The clan told him when they named me his fiancé. He was shamed before them."

"How does that shame him? He is receiving the best kunoichi in his clan as a wife. He should be honored." Hiashi could never understand how the Uchiha thought.

"I, a mere woman, am stronger than he, the Heir of the Great Uchiha Clan. He is far too proud to accept that. I must be put back into my rightful place, at his feet." Mikoto spoke slowly, as if to a rather dense child. She continued more quickly, almost frantically.

"I should kill him. On my marriage bed, I should take a kunai and drive it through his throat before he can tie me down. I might be able to do it tomorrow, he said he wanted to sample his prize. Of course, then the Uchiha will kill me, but that is probably better."

Hiashi was getting quite worried about Mikoto. He took her by the shoulders and shook her gently, twice. When her eyes had focused on him he let her go and said calmly, "Mikoto, you are distraught and drunk. You are in no condition to make life changing decisions. Furthermore, you are building this up to be worse than it really is. Marriage may be a terrifying step, but it is not the end of the world. I want you promise me that you will go home, go to sleep, and go see Minato in the morning. He will take care of you."

Mikoto just looked at him, and Hiashi wondered if she even understood anything he had said. Then she lunged forward, grabbing the color of his kosode and pulling him down.

"Promise me something, -ashi. Promise me." Her face was inches away from Hiashi.

"Anything you want, Mikoto."

"Promise me, that if you have daughters, you won't use them like this. Promise me that you won't limit them, won't bind them, won't destroy them like I am going to be destroyed."

Mikoto had on the Hyuuga face that he had taught her one sun drenched day when they were bored genin, ignoring their sensei's hobby. He remembered how hard she and Minato had found it, how they had giggled and laughed while he just got more and more offended. It looked so utterly wrong on her now. The only flaw in the expression was her eyes which gleamed with some feverous passion. Hiashi had an urge to reach towards her, to hug her, to force the tears that were so close to the surface out onto his shoulder, or maybe to shake her out of this funk. He had this wild desire to take her by the hand and run away with her, to go to Wave or Rain or some other end of the world and hide from all the troubles of Konoha and their families.

He did not move.

Mikoto just looked at him, for the longest moment of his life. Then she let him go and got up, still remarkably steady. She left the room quietly. She looked like she was crumpled in on herself, smaller than usual. He had the feeling that he would never see her again. He hoped that that was because she was planning to run, to go nukenin. He had a sinking premonition that the next time he would see her body she would be standing behind her future husband, eyes glassy and dead.

"It won't be that bad, surely." He said to himself, surprising himself with how loud he sounded in the empty room. He picked up the sake, moving it to the corner, where his father would not immediately see it in the morning (unless he had his Byakugan active of course), and returned to his vigil.

He was not even surprised when an hour later there was a quiet knock on the door. Instead he just sighed and said, "Come in, Minato."

Minato was the last person that he wanted to see tonight, or tomorrow for that matter. He came into the room quietly, shutting the door behind him. Hiashi turned to face him. He had on a sheepish looking grin, which still lit up the room like the sun itself.

"Sorry I'm late."

"I was not aware that we had an appointment." Hiashi tried to sound stern, but felt that he probably failed completely.

"We didn't, but did you really think that I wasn't going to see you before your marriage? Since the Hyuuga stiffs aren't letting us clanless ninja attend."

"It is a small ceremony."

Minato had apparently found the sake. He poured some out in the cup, giving it to Hiashi. He took the bottle. He said lightly, "A toast, Hiashi. To marriages, may they not be as bad as the bride and groom fears."

Hiashi drank deep. "Have you been talking to Mikoto?"

"I ran into her on the way here. I helped her home before coming. She was cursing her father and forefathers with language I'm sure even Jiraiya-sensei would find impressive."

"She is to be married as well."

"I know. I'm afraid that Mikoto will never get the chance to seduce Sakumo. Pity. Kakashi could use a mother, or at least someone to prevent Sakumo from sending him to the Academy like its preschool." Minato said not quite flippantly.

"She's worried about it." Hiashi did not say _I am too_, however much he wanted too.

"It won't be as bad as she fears. Fugaku isn't that bad, and the two of us will always help her."

Hiashi did not reply to Minato's first point. Minato always saw the best in everyone, even people like Uchiha Fugaku. "I am the clan heir of the Hyuuga. I am limited in my ability to interfere in Uchiha clan matters."

"Well, we'll worry about Mikoto if it comes to it. Tonight I'm more worried about you. How are you dealing with your marriage?"

Trust Minato to cut him to the quick, with a small sympathetic smile. Hiashi did not answer. Minato apparently did not need him to, as he just sighed and shook his head.

"I'm sure that it will be okay, Hiashi. You may not know her now, but you can grow to love her. It will all be alright."

"I love you, you know." It slipped out. Hiashi had fantasized many times about telling Minato about his feeling for him. He had never thought it would happen like this. It was a night for such outbursts. After all, tomorrow he would be married and he would have no right to say this again. At least not to anyone but his wife.

"I know." Minato looked so very sad. "I don't. Not like that."

"I know," and Hiashi did know. He knew Minato well enough to know that the man preferred his partners fiery and bold, maybe a little exotic looking, and most importantly, female. Hiashi did not fulfill any of those counts. "I never meant to let you know."

"Hiashi, you're one of my closest friends. You have been ever since that day when Mikoto knocked you over the head and dragged you into our planning session."

"The bell test. You knew exactly what to do, but were so diffident."

"And you and Mikoto kept ignoring each other so calmly, and whenever I would try to start a conversation you would both only answer to me," this was wistful, where normally Minato would me laughing by now.

"We were such idiots. We were so determined to help uphold the honor of our clans."

"Yeah. Your clans don't need any help with that. Anyway Hiashi, is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all."

"Kiss me." It was a night for words to slip out unbidden. Hiashi had to wonder how strong Mikoto's sake was.

Minato looked serious and somber, shaking his head no.

"I just want the one. Tomorrow I will marry, and I will never again kiss anyone but Ayumi. I want this one memory. Please, Minato." The words spilled out, headless of Hiashi's frantic attempts to stop his own words.

"It wouldn't be what you want. I don't return you feelings. It wouldn't compare to whatever you have imagined."

"You could pretend, just for a minute. That's all I ask. I want to pretend that for just this one second you love me, and the force of you entire regard is on me. I want all of your sunlit presence, the personality that drives me to be better than I would ever be without it, just for a minute." Hizashi was not the only one to compose speeches and then forget then when the time for words came unexpectedly.

For one endless terrifying minute, Hiashi thought that Minato would refuse again. Instead he shook his head quickly, drained his cup of sake, and moved in front of Hiashi.

"One kiss. I hope you don't regret it." Then he leaned in and kissed Hiashi.

Hiashi was frantically memorizing every sensation. Minato tasted like sunlight and mint, with some of the sake as well. Hiashi did not move but Minato's hands cupped his cheeks. They were warm on his cold skin, and Hiashi could feel his calluses from years of throwing kunai scrape against his skin, before the fingers moved to bury themselves in his hair. Hiashi recognized that kiss from various seduction missions he had played backup to Minato on. He viciously squashed the thought that this kiss was just like those, fake. He reminded himself that that was what he had asked for.

The kiss was better than he imagined, even with one person faking it.

It was over all too quickly. Minato leaned back, still somber. Hiashi could not help but feel that he had lost something, that some chance or opportunity was gone forever.

"I shouldn't have done that." Minato was looking away from him, at the walls.

"No. I will cherish that moment, and regret that it is my only one."

"You're always so sure." There was silence, warm and engulfing, until Minato continued, "Are you sure about this?" He trailed off, waving a hand at the shrine, or possibly the Hyuuga house. Hiashi knew what he meant though. Is he sure about this marriage, this future that he was choosing? Is he sure that this is what he wants?

He answered with the only one he knew. "It is my duty."

"Duty again Hiashi. Duty is not the answer to everything." Minato said earnestly.

"It is in this case. As future head of the Hyuuga, the Council of Elders has chosen my bride to consolidate the power of the clan. I know you understand this Mianto. You want to be Hokage, you understand the allocation of resources and the sanctity of binding contracts. As Hokage, you will treat your own children the same way."

"I won't make bargaining chip of them." Minato was offended.

"Yes you will. So will I. We will have no choice."

"I don't accept that."

"There is no way to change that fact. Our children are just another expression of our power." Hiashi knew the truth.

"Then let's make a contract ourselves." Minato had lit up again.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on. Your child and mine. That's not a bargaining chip, that's an agreement between two friends."

"A marriage contract?"

"Yeah. Just because it would never work out between the two of us doesn't mean that they will be that unlucky. I'm sure that not even the Hyuuga would refuse a marriage with the child of a Hokage."

"You're not the Hokage, Minato."

"No, but I will be, by the time we have children." Minato was always optimistic, but Hiashi had to agree with him. Minato would be Kage before the end of the decade. That wasn't a biased opinion, but certainty.

"Just think about it, Hiashi. Our children, in love, and us being one family," Minato cajoled.

Hiashi thought about it. It was seductive picture. He could almost see his son with Minato's daughter, who would be utterly gorgeous and breathtakingly intelligent, or his daughter with Minato's son, a man who was stubborn and determined in following his principles and had a smile that lit up the whole world. Then he looked even further to grandchildren, before stopping himself in his tracks.

"No." It was final. It was the hardest refusal that he had ever given, but at least he could say it, not like with the earlier requests. It hurt like a sword through his heart.

"Why not?"

"I do not want any child of mine to feel like I do today. Unrequited love is a terrible thing, and so is being forced into marriage to someone you do not want. I want my children to marry for love, and there is no guarantee that they would feel for your children anything similar to what I feel for you." This was a break from Hyuuga tradition, and Hiashi felt reckless and almost light headed, but very sure, as he had been about nothing else tonight. The council will fight, but he could force it through them. The council would be furious if they knew that he was turning down an offer from such a powerful shinobi as Minato out of hand.

"If you're sure." Minato shrugged. "I'll just have to make sure that they're friends growing up, and fall in love gradually. It will happen."

Hiashi couldn't bear to tell Minato that it probably wouldn't, even with his matchmaking.

"Well, I should leave before your terrifying father finds out that I am in an inner sanctum of the Hyuuga clan." Minato got up to leave, picking up Mikoto's sake on his way. "I need to go find Mikoto before she does anything she'll regret when she sobers up." Minato paused in the doorway, looking back at Hiashi.

"Remember Hiashi! It'll all be okay," and Minato flashed him the grin. The grin to which all other smiles are but pale imitations, the grin that lit up a world. The grin that outshone the noonday sun and chased away all thought of depression. Hiashi felt his own lips curve up in response to it, just like he always did.

Then Minato was gone, and Hiashi returned to his vigil, feeling utterly, utterly alone.


End file.
